good morning well wishers
how now brown cow?
youll be pleased to know
the falcon is now a smooth sleek silent panther
a blue grey blur
king midas did me nicely
fixed my muffla
my a.c. problem
flush my transmission
oiled my greased nipples
n changed my mind
wow
im sailing down the street now
toddy rundgren pumping
"i was born to synthesize, energise n catalyze"
yes toddy, me too..
i got me a big ass olde car now
(actually it is a little hard to park...)
cruising down this shuddering highway
(actually olde south head road)
i got a silver machine!!
watch out you hoity toity olde posh bags in yer bmw suvs
the killer is comin' on thru nohow!
anyway
enough of that petrolhead nonsense
el mo 2 getting near finished
a few surprises...
i cant tell ya natch...or they wont be surprises
but ya gonna do a dubble-take on some of this
thats for sure
and i guarantee it
im supposed to finish 3 portraits of the band as well
where will i find all this time
they say bring painting into studio
you can paint n mix at same time
sure
and i could juggle too
or keep plates spinning
with one lobe tied behind my back
n a blindfold on
thats the trubble
give em everything
n
they expect everything
so much work for the lazy old being to do
yesterday i get home late
do yoga on yonder balcony
mosquitoes attack attack attack
suck my blood
(i am a red blooded male!)
nasty nasty little biters
had to stop during the tree pose
those female mosquitoes all over my lovely calves
and i dont want em ruined with nasty bites
i want them to remain a pristine wilderness
of suntan n muscle
cmon they are beautiful .....
am i allowed to say this?
i mean the rest of me is.....alright...
but my calves....oh my calves
and my doom never to be able to see em properly
always have to bend n twist n reflect
not the biggest calves youll ever see
just the secksiest....easily
in fact if you see a better set of calves than mine
drop me an email
killahcalves@leggy.org.asm
and send me dubble yer money back as a deposit
if any one else has better leggies
i'll keep the money....ok?
sorted
my calves are actually negotiating with sir dennis hand-jobbe
from xyz records about doing a solo album
course its gonna be instrumental
(calves cant sing, silly)
featuring
i kneed you
spank my ankles
toeing the line
vanilla thigh
n groin injury
oh ho ho ho
(dont you wish this would stop?)
we already got a foot in the door here
and my calves are appearing in some new shorts
n films soon
hop in to yer record store
n demand the killers calves
before this whole joke is milked dry
(disgruntled subscriber in east cheam says
i thought he was telling us about fucking hayday today
and then we get this loada bollocks bout his calves!)
anyway
allow me my levity, fiendss
im working so hard im going bloody balmy
but thats how you like us olde genii
slightly nutty
its one of the perks of the job
be serious for twenny years
then become a total looney..
eccentricity they call it
oh olde steve...hes a bit...eccentric
ye see....im not just a crazy olde bastard
im a venerable eccentric gentlemen
a V.E.G.
now us V.E.G.s are getting kinda rare
now pablo picassos gone..
its really only bobby dylan, lenny cohen n me left
(not necessarily in that order)
im like a national treasure
but no ones treasuring me much
im like a vintage car
driving myself slowly mad
im like an old master
with no peace
although it breaks my heart to leave ya
fiendss i mist bid you a fond adieu
see ya tomorra
24 hours for you
an eternity for me
love
left n right calf
x x
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123 comments:
half calf
...but do boby dylan and lennid cohen have pins as nice as yours?
...I'm sure some enterprising young calf fetishest will post a link so we may compare these three noble sets of gams and conclude for ourselves.
Indeed a finely turned calf is a 'ting to behold.
B.Bon
yeeess well D did mention how "wicked "those calve were at the national..Not that I would have realized..I think nk might have some concern if Dwas lurking the Bondi rock pools..Any -way I got better...Ummmm..Fuc Nup! You are a hot-dog a woolf wistle waiting to happen, a generic chrissy pressy for the female genda, a cruise missile headed straight for the frontal lobe of the breast carting long haired variety...DAM! and ya alright at spinning a songie and painting by dots..not badde on the blum-in bass either.
The rest of us are screwed killa just thought you should know..
As if ya do.
Um what else can I say
(pretenders nz gig?? whats the hap's!!)
Tell us about MAGS..and holly-gram
twinkletoes.
Your calves are truly sublime!X
Don't ever change, you eccentric gentleman genius.
As an avid cyclist, my calves are oft-commented upon. I think my calves could give your calves a run for their money!
(But you beat me hands-down in the punning stakes, I fear)
Good day to you, Mr. Kilbey!
people have often commented on the fine form of my calves openly refering that popeye has nothing on me and thus being a likewise luxurious calver I feel I can honestly say moo too to you SK don't you dare hide your calves away because the world won't be as nice a place today, if you do.
this is hilarious
i thought he was telling us about fucking hayday today - hilarious - pip
it seems those calf joke has calved itself off of the blog and floated on over to the comments.
its like a sickness, some sort of calve-ital punishment. but puns were always an achilles heel.
listening to Egyptian Register as i type this. A calve-alcade of instrumentals, all toned and shiny and smooth. almost shaven. could that be a cloven hoof down there? do i detect a faustian bargain? did a certain TB sell his soul for the best shanks in the biz??
ryan
- ps- can't wait for El Mom. 2. And thanks for not spoiling the surprise!
My boss just enquired what I was laughing at.
I said “Sk’s Blog”
He said “forward it through to me, I need a laugh”
I said “only if you promise to send some dosh Sk's way”
So, Steven, if you see thirty or forty bucks deposited in your account from a fairly high profile public servant, good. If not let me know and I'll hit him over the head with his cellophane roll of multiple newspapers.
Love
d.
Ps: he will be reading this comment – so he is now on notice.
dont'cha havta hava buncha moo~ney ta be officially excentric?
That was great stuff, I got a good laugh out of it. Beware those golden calves... :-)
SK,
You'll be pleased to know I'm not freeloading, have contributed to ye olde blogge. Had prob last wk tried to pay in advance ($10) but it didn't go through, will give it another go don't know how it's been set up, so have paid weekly price.
Sun nite went to Dee Why RSL and saw Mondo Rock. (Next yr when the band does gigs for new record why don't you play there.) There was a big crowd and they had a young local band as support. If the Church plays there can bet ya there would be people turned away.
I didn't realise Ross Wilson co-wrote "A touch of paradise" he said he would sing it better than John Farnham, and think he was right. They have had Jenny Morris, The Whitlams, Jon Stevens, Choirboys play there, so maybe your Manager will think about it (and the extra cash might come in handy.)
Caught up with the last few blogges,
(just getting better n better).
Re: "I olde n ugly" who you talking about Nevets? Could not say that about one band member, in fact PK looks exactly the same.
Not asking to put yeselfs through the torture of making another vid, (but I really like the ones on the Goldfish dvd)what ever happened to the o/s concerts that were filmed? A live concert dvd would be awesome.
What's this TV interview about details please - (not a guest spot on Oprah?)
A wk today till the Twillies arrive. Hope you're getting your Santa Suit ready, it will be a big Chrissie coming up.
Glad the car is now full of energy
and putting the others to shame.
Keep those calves in good condition.
Love Therese
Steven,
they should let you wander out to pasture with the calves in your old looneyhood.
--Chris
n.p. Zoviet France, "Music for a Spaghetti Western" (industrial-strength ambient drones)
SK,
Thanks for the recipe. Keep 'em coming. Stevies Kitchen..........
Luv
Lady D
Bastad! u nicked me carves, I knew they'd turn up sooner or later. They're pretty good, been around the block a few times and respond well when massaged.
NOW GIVE THEM BACK!!!!!
LOL Celticat
How about: Bali Thigh, Falling Shin Love Again, Pinky Cadillac, Gout of Mind, Gout of Sight...
I have unfortunately been cursed with chicken legs. My Dad had em and passed em straight onto me,. Long and spindly. (Although I prefer slender and elongated).
My wife never buys me shorts...keep em hidden she says.
My friends wonder why I'm wearing jeans on 40 degree days...I'm so ashamed...it's just unaustralian.
If only I could borrow Kilbey's calves for a day....and run along the beach in me only pair of shorts proud, tanned and god like. People would call out "Doesn't Mark look good in Steve Kilbey's calves?!!"
Seriously though, I would like to hire em out for a day...I'm having trouble with some guitar parts on my new rekkid. Only for the instrumental parts of course.
x
why you cavalier Calvinist...
predestination, i don't bloody think so... winter has truly set in here, shielding my tibial beefcakes from the sun's tanning rays, but flipside, i got no skeeters eether... i'd go head to head in a calfolympics with you, yogi... no drug testing neether... or, we could test all the drugs we wanted...
but actually, calf implants seem an easier way to go, i saw it on teevee...
toodles,
ee
you had better avoid moses for a few days
Oh Steve! You keep getting funnier and funnier. Ever considered a career as a comedian?
You could be the next Angus Young - just think the press you could get out of that!
ed in fl
Killa - glad the sliver machine is working good again. We got a black VW at the w/e. Freedom of the road at weekends.
First snow of the Boston winter today - no probs to a hard Belfastard like me ;)
Loved the P=A and Starfish blogs.
Paypal is calling.....
love
bF
You could perform onstage with risque leather pants that have the calves cut out. The ladies would swoon....
JJ
Silver Machine... best song ever written about a bicycle!
oh i get the moses thing now.
silver machine........whoooosehhhhh, mmm thats the best driving tune.....i always feel like my wheels are gonna leave the ground......
kissing calves. what an image.
Just listening to Dabble.
What an exquisite treat.
And Season In Hell. Rimbaud,
where once I was compared.
hey, have you ever played a phantom guitar?
http://www.phantomguitars.com/
I'm thinking of making a purchase.
btw, my calves would give you a run for your money. I 'd put up $.
Steve
I don't do pay pal please email me your PO box over there to send something to you.I really appreciate you taking the time for the blog Steve.healey@hmshost.com
going through some tough times now and your music always helps and certainly your struggle with addiction and beating it is an inspiration. Life always changes just not the way we want or expect. Thank you
Steve in Florida
well you do have yourself a nice set of pins and the rest of you is looking pretty buff too
even for bondi with all its models and out of work actors
you cut some gorgeous eye candy
Corner.
you will close your eyes, so as in the winter, we shall travel in a little not to see, through the glass,
the evening shadows pulling faces.
those snarling cushions.
we shall be comfortable. a nest black wolves.
then you'll feel your
and you'll say to me : cheek scratched...
a little kiss, like a pink railway carriage
with blue crazy spider,
will run round your neck... monsters, a population
of black devils and of mad kisses lies in wait
in each soft
Le était encore soleil chaud
mine are definitely better. mtn biking in appalachia'll do that for ya killa
r.
Corner.
you will close your eyes, so as in the winter, we shall travel in a little not to see, through the glass,
the evening shadows pulling faces.
those snarling cushions.
we shall be comfortable. a nest black wolves.
then you'll feel your
and you'll say to me : cheek scratched...
a little kiss, like a pink railway carriage
with blue crazy spider,
will run round your neck... monsters, a population
of black devils and of mad kisses lies in wait
in each soft
Le soleil était encore chaud
Ah Mr K, I spent my girlhood surreptiously admiring your firm and vibrato-whilst-bass-playing thighs, please don't encourage me any further...
I'm laughing at your ramblings!
I'm pretty damn excited to hear your newest acoustic mixes. I loved EMD #1 and I was so happy when you played so many of those songs on your US tour. Can't wait for your surprises! And bring those calves back to the USA for another drop in soon.
me love Leonard Cohen's music, me "Suzanne"...
mjnjr
girls
avocado
drive down the street
el dorado...
oh dear. in my head for days now. bugger.
mastabatory malapropriated monologues...
c'mon steve...
here i am, half a world away reading this
from a guy you don't know
to a guy i don't know
but know inna way we all know or think we know
but fer some reason man, i'm stickin with ya, hell
i'm rightin like you now.
great to hear about yer calves. they sound awesome.
good now, gone and forgotten...
(once read for 7th grade NC drama class)
keep 'em comin klee klops.
yrs
scott n
holy cow sacred calves nevets! yes u do have nice ones. I was just thinking about them today, or rather smiling to myself remembering you barefoot in those brown corduroy shorts you wore backstage that were ripped from a pair of jeans, frayed to buggery and one side longer than the other ... UNLESS thats the latest fashion statement in Bondi? :) Not many could get away with that.
Now, i see that aussies voted in their numero 1 alltime fave album to be Dark Side Of The Moon with Jeff Buckley's GRACE (oh yeah) coming in second and Radioheads OKC at third. THAT just makes me think my vote for Priest was justified MUCH as i still love DSOTM. I also think of P=A (like Dark Side Of The Moon) as a concept album that wasnt pretentious.
Sorry but I really love visuals. Maybe Im a little shallow there in that way wanting to see u guys play your guitars and sing.. but there ya go. You just havent found the right video director, tho' EASY is pretty good because its not contrived and I did love Metropolis and Tantalized a whole lot. You're Still Beautiful with Marty swinging upside down too :)
ha ha lmao! i'm crackin' up.
;)
hey killahcalves,
mine aint bad either! lets have MWP decide next time which legs are better, shall we - the hairy male variety or the smooth female.. and we have a WINNER!
:P
god yer funny Kilbey!
frayed to what???
Its an aussie expression!
ps sk, i can picture a laidback acoustic video to go with one of the em2=c album songs? finance it gudinski!
SK,
Yes indeed, your calves are quite nice, but I think I could give ya a run fer yer money. My years and years of soccer have given me some decent ones as well. Though, as I get older, they're becoming more cows than calves. :P Can't wait for el mo 2!!!
lily
You're the funniest V.E.G. I know sk. OK, so first it's the "buns of steel", now the "calves of steel", what's next?
love
A Princeopoulopolos
his shins are pretty good too
SK, is it better to paypal lump sums or bits each day/week? dont wanna stuff up your taxable income or cause havoc with paypal fees
Ere, Steve, remember when you used to describe the Church as a surrealist band?
When it came to the videos, I always wondered why you din't use em as an opportunity to emphasise the surrealist elements.
You always said you didn't care about the promo videos - but wasn't it just an extra chance to be creative?
MWP got a lot of Cocteau imagery into his Night Is Over video - couldn't Church videos have incorporated surrealist ideas?
Would've been better than that fuckin knight anyhow, eh!
Better than them two Pierrot fuckers an' all!
Angus Young has pretty good calves - but maybe not such gorgeous gams as Betty Kilbee's
when you play live you should start spotlighting your calves...maybe even turn around the whole time so we could get a good look. it's a shame only tim get's the good view! ; )
that just all sounds wrong...on several different levels!
see ya
and my doom never to be able to see em properly
always have to bend n twist n reflect
Backs are patted, calves are fatted ... the sleek Kilbey
they have to be somewhere
(they oughta be somewhere)
left and right and up and down
good to see other bike freeks here... which made me realize the perfect bike for SK...
a Calfee...
no joke, no play on initials...
real nice carbon frames...
course the frame alone will cost three times the Falcon, but any real bike geek's ride is always worth more than his car...
like a J-Bass kinda...
ride on,
speedee
Anonymous said...
- OK, so first it's the "buns of steel", now the "calves of steel", what's next?
Steely Dan?
BTW,
Hearing about Working on El Mo tickles me.
glad to hear your wheels are right again. believe me~~there's nothing like being left on the side of the road.
yes, you DO have nice legs, steve. calves and all. i was checking them out when you came outside after the dallas show. (*blush*~~did i just admit to that?!?!?!)
oh~~you have cute knees, too!! you hottie, you.
Did "Through the hill" make it through the mail?
John
heeheeeheeeheee
they're coming to take you away haha!
jen
The calves will be a result of the English blood in yer, SK.
Jules Rimet, 1966, Geoff Hurst,There's some people on the pitch - they think it's all over, Jumples for goalposts and that sort of thing.
Love you Bobby Moore,
Dave M
x
soz. Jumpers. Time for bed.
breathe deeply mr kilbey
and let the sunshine in
and my energy
let it fill you up
let it help recharge you
let it nourish you
love
xxx
Hey,nice blog!!! I found a place where you can make an extra $800 or more a month. I do it part time and make a lot more than that. It is definitely worth a visit! You can do it in your spare time and make good cash. Make Extra Cash
And speaking of painting, I finally could not resist the temptation to buy the painting of the same name as one of the best songs on "Uninvited". Yes, "Unified Field" belongs to the Glen Dude now, and happy he is about it, too! Thanks, Steve! The time for a commissioned work is fast approaching. It is cool to own three original Kilbeys. And I won't stop there. Keep up the great work, celebrated mister K!
I don't wanna hear about your calves...by far the worse blog I've seen..Sorry, but life ain't a joke, oh I'm sorry, yeah it is.....Man, write something that means something....Quien es?
A blog that gives someone a smile does mean something! I love your comical vanity Steve! Quite a laugh. I can just see you twisting around backwards for a good look at your calves running round n round after that perfect view, like a dog chasing its tail! Brilliant :)
Paid for 26 weeks in advance the other day! Hope that was ok, I've just got a terrible memory for these things and no way would have remembered otherwise!!
don't forget Orpheus,
Todd Rundgren was from Philadelphia
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
and calveskin stays and foreskin goes
xo
Mary
nevets! you canna take a day off in the middle of the week! Aahhh, you can but dont be long.
Dear Steven
You may or may not be interested but here's a link to the slightly more vulgar end of Peter and Dudley, faithfully transcribed.
http://www.phespirit.info/derekandclive/
have a read, have a laugh.
J o' C
moo
"I'm too sexy for my pants"
esky, i'll try and take a good photo of those calves for you so you can admire them without hurting your neck LOL ... you're hilarious. hope the mountain gig is 'on' tonite!
it’s already yesterday
we’re of the calendar
I interviewed John Cooper Clarke last night, a phoner for Sydney streetpress called the Brag. JCC was very fine indeedy. He has forgotten to make records for a long time but you can hear the amazing "Beasley Street" on MySpace under his name. He is coming Down Under for Big Day Out. He was amazed and delighted to learn The Church were still going strong. He remembered the Kilbey brothers well and thought they were from Liverpool. But that's Marty, isn't it?
Am i the first, am i the first ... oh...
To anonymous 12:42,
An extra $800 a month? Oh sure, sign me up. But there are a few conditions:
1) I get up when I want.
2) I get to be on break constantly.
3) I don't have to get dressed.
4) I get to read 'The Time Being' whenever I want.
5) Productivity is to be discouraged.
6) Free beer.
7) I get to give myself a raise every day.
8) Give me cash up front. Lots of it.
John
Don't forget, you workin' for ME now (THE MAN), no holidays for this bloggie, n'kay?
Steve.......
Thats really all I have to say.
Guy who lives in Portland Oregon
we await the return of the prodigal blogger ... kilbey the flattered calf ... arise o thigh of sighs
People are telling me ghost stories and I must listen as there is no bloggie.
Cecilia
He's milking this one is'nt he.....
why am i shaking all over?
why can’t i think straight?
why is my head thumping & my vision blurry?
why?
why?
why?
WITHDRAWAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
driving into work this morning, sun shining up high, not a cloud in the sky, blue yonder stretching on forever, gliding down the highway listening to Friends of Rachael Worth and man, I miss him sorely...
im like a national treasure
but no ones treasuring me much
awww...that's so pitiful. We treasure you SK. We treasure the music and the poetry and the paintings, the buns of steel and the sexy calves, and that oh-so-lovely porno voice. :-)
eek, care to explain that last comment a little further?
Don't tell me I have to go read Rachel Ray's bloggie!
anon at 9:52
Just listen to him. SK could turn a reading of the phone book into erotic literature.
:-)
I havent gone away SK I am still the watching . every breathe you take every move you make . I 'll be watching you.....
Oh my god SK really DID take the money and run!!!!
maybe the man walks among us, has been here with us all thist while, disguised as a knave amongst us, his servents, we the mere sparkeling virtual mortals...
btw i've got surrealist /video/ blues...
timeknottwami
don't tell em' i told you so...
Dudes and ladies - SK is a busy man this week - allow him a day off. Some days this blog is longer than others write in a week. Patience.
Bet you're lovin this all the same Steve ;)
Frankie
Hi.
Hope the gig with MWP went well.
We miss you!
Dave M
xx
So true eek, so true
;)
xo
at first i was curious
then it was just a bit of fun every now n then
but i got used to it
wanted more n more
somehow it transitioned to a habit
before i knew it actually
didn’t even notice the change actually
now i’m daily
always hungry
so dysfunctional
a fully blown addict
there’s no peace
there’s no rest
i’m itching with fever
i’m getting worried
i don’t know where else to go
where to get a little more
i need to score bad
oh so badde baybee!!!
wheres me fix???
WHERES MY BLOGGGGG???????????????????????
nah just kidding
hope yer ok
where the fuck R U?
ditto 7.28pm...where the bloody hell are ya?
Think one of his calves had a blow out...
ML,
don joe
tap, tap . . .
tap, tap, tap . . .
anyone got some loose change?
i think the meter’s stopped
tap . . .
tap . . .
tap . . .
it's not moving!
missing you
some very concerned people out here steve,hope all is well my friend?----andy L.
& I just paid my 4 aus dollars!
so little faith ye all, augh the anticipa....
...tion
besides baal-beezs everyone knows the real magick happens behind the scenes... doesn't it...? i'm not rusin-it... your not flushin it... just keep your lips sealed... hushinit...
Mr Kilbey has passed......
What the hell are you talking about?!
...the buck?
i am mr peepee, you cannot see me. But i can see you steve.......
he is probably taking the day off....he deserves that like anyone else.
I have heard he's died....
Where did you hear this?
Is this true? We're freaking out here. At least I am.
"last seen arriving in his mercedes SUV to a Bondi Beach Starbucks, 80s rocker Steven "Under the milky Way" Kilbey has gone missing. Witnesses at the ritzy Bondi branch of Starbucks said Kilbey got into an argument in the mens room and they heard loud lisping expletives in a foreign accent. Police are asking for Bondi residents to report any information that they might have on the whereabout of Steven Kilbey"-The Sydney Morning Herald
Apparently there's a running joke here that I'm not in on?
is this true?
whoever is posting this crap you are an ass....
Nevets -
Hope you're enjoying a few days off, and that nothing is amiss. Best wishes to the Twillies on their arrival to Bondi.
Looking forward to your return.
Regards,
JJ
Dear Mr. Kilbey,
I met you in Detroit at the lovely Magic Bag show where you presented us with Jazzy Reptile for a 3rd encore! We spoke of Grant outside the back door. As a tribute, my friend and I played Quiet Heart and Love Goes On! at a local coffeehouse with a friend who plays violin.
Anyway, I read your December 2nd write-up of P=A and enjoyed it immensely. It is my fav album (and song for that matter) although Hotel Womb is close. I love the line "They killed their enemies by loving them to death." I also love the line "Wear a gun in a crowd but their breasts aren't allow" ~ a nice summation of American culture. We substitute sex in our movies with violence.
Anyway, I've always been aware of Church goings and have purchased most albums in between P=A and the present. I was particularly hooked back in at HOB. Can you elaborate on those sessions? The songs are strong but sometimes the vocals got lost in the mix (i.e. Buffalo, Tranquility are a little too ethereal on the vocals when compared to your Intimate & Acoustic version vocally.) How come? I'd love a different mix with your pipes brought forward.
Peace!
we are disconnected
here lies real distance
we can only speculate as to what is real
(anxiety at an unexpected departure)
and hope that love really is all you need...
Hope all ok, esskay.
Love you.
Dave M
xx
Actually it's "bare breasts aren't allowed," is it not?
Are you exercising your calves today, SK?
Maybe he's giving all of us a lesson in addiction.
John
'tis indeed bare breasts nor was there a crowd but hey.....each to his/her own.
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